“What is the worst thing about yourself that you like?”
Wow
How often do you know that there is something that you need to change about yourself and don’t realize that maybe you’re struggling to make that change because, on some deeper level, you really enjoy that behavior?
What if you have a habit of sneaking a candy bar on the way home from the grocery store? You know it’s a really bad idea – especially if you have to grocery shop every couple of days! But, if you secretly really like the experience, you aren’t likely to make a change.
You can simultaneously want to change – and enjoy just about any behavior (or addiction).
Drinking
Disordered eating
Gambling
Work
Computer games
Exercise (or lack of exercise)
…
Gossip
We went on college visits over spring break and I came back chock-full of crazy stories of people we met during our travels. I really try to avoid talking bad about people (especially people that I know) because I believe that gossip is inherently wrong. I decided years ago that positivity was far more in line with who I want to be and that I would especially not allow that side of myself to further contaminate the virtual world.
But when I found myself chatting about our spring break trip with a neighbor yesterday afternoon my snarky side snuck through my defenses. Truth is that I kind of like that ugly part of me. When I let ‘her’ loose people tend to laugh and have fun (and my ‘normal’ personality is remarkably more mundane than ‘Snarky Tina’). It was FUN to share the stories of strange families and college tour guides with abysmal grammar who were planning on using the university’s resource center when they were ‘like forty’ and still didn’t know how to manage their finances.
The truth is I like that side of myself a little bit even though I know that’s not the person I want to be. Even worse? Gossip probably isn’t the worst of my negative traits.
I’m trying so hard to tackle those difficult areas this year and that requires me to be honest with myself.
So what bad traits do YOU love to hate?